Wednesday, November 09, 2005

*Found this letter today...Feeling very sad and very loved...I miss you Beautiful Becca.

OCTOBER 17, 04
Dear Oprah,
I am writing you regarding my husband Patrick, and my wish to grant him, his wildest dreams come true. We have been through so much together and I would like to be able to show him my gratitude. (In order to keep it as short and simple as possible, I will have to leave out some important details.) Here is our story. I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma 8 years ago when I was 22 years old. It was a horrible experience. 4 years later I met Patrick, and we fell in love immediately. Soon after, my melanoma returned. I was 3 months pregnant, but went through with the surgery. Again, I had such a traumatic experience, I ended up losing my baby. We were devastated. Patrick proposed, and we were married Dec. 2, 2000. It was the best day of or lives. He loved me more than anything and through anything. In the year after we were married, I began to feel safe for the first time in my life. I had a tumultuous childhood and though I had done a lot of healing, I had never really known love like this before. So I began to have memories of being sexually abused as a small child. This was a horrible time and took it’s toll on Patrick, as he became the brunt of my anger and fear. It took time, but we worked through this and fell deeper in love as a result. I felt in awe that a man would stick it out with me through such hard times. Little did I know that this was only the beginning. My cancer returned with a vengeance. Again we were pregnant, and they urged me to abort. I felt crushed. I just wanted to be a normal, young newlywed and have the baby I always wanted. The doctors were abusive and killed any sense of power or hope that I struggled to hold on to. I again miscarried due to the stress, and felt defeated. I have always been spiritual, sensitive, and very intuitive. I now felt so low, but somehow I managed to find the strength to heal myself of my cancer. Patrick was totally supportive and we bagan a rigorous schedule of acupuncture 6 days a week, saw as many “healers” as possible, psychotherapy, dance therapy, a macrobiotic diet, and a lot of crying. Patrick took it upon himself to raise the money to support my path. He is a very talented actor, but because I was always going through so much, he ended up putting most of his career on hold. So we live quite modestly. He reached out to the community and together they raised about $25,000. Just enough to pay for all my medical and acupuncture bills. 3 months later my cancer was gone. I could not have done it without the love and support of my husband. A year later I gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Adeline. We finally felt some relief. But when Adeline turned 1 1/2, my cancer returned again. This time I had 2 very large tumors in my pelvis. I was crushed. I thought I was done with my cancer for good. I decided to do a combination of natural healing and western medicine. I had major surgery 12 days ago, and feel better every day. This has caused our family tremendous stress though. My husband has been through so much hardship, and we haven’t even been married 4 years yet. And my daughter was nursing up until the surgery and we had never been apart. So this has also taken it’s toll on her, of course. And now we are losing our home. We have a small 1 bedroom apartment but we like it because it’s rent controlled and 5 blocks from the beach. Our landlord wants to fumigate (tent) due to termites. I cannot come back into such a chemically toxic environment, nor would we bring our child into one. We researched healthier alternatives that have great result, but our landlord wouldn’t budge. I have a bankruptcy due to all my overwhelming medical expenses, and Patrick keeps deferring his student loans, so our credit is poor. We are having a hard time finding someone to lease us a new place. Plus, the rents are so outrageous in Los Angeles, we really can’t afford them anyway. So, are forced to move in with my mom. This has crushed Patrick’s ego, which has already been damaged through the years.
My wish is to give him a house of his own. A place with a yard for our daughter to play. I know this is big to ask, but he deserves it more than anyone. He has sacrificed his life for mine. He has given me everything and more. His whole world revolves around Adeline and I. It is time for Patrick to feel special and know that his work has not gone unnoticed.
If by some chance, you choose to help us, I would like to surprise him. So I will give you my cell phone and my mom’s email and cell phone # as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for all the good that you do.

With love,

Becca E. Wilkins


Blogger r-fresh said...

Amazing. I wish I could hug you right now. I will later today. Let's go have some good times tonight.

I got you.
You got me.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm feeling so sad right now because I didn't know that we lost Becca, we had lost touch for a long while. I wish I could have said goodbye. But I feel so lucky to have had her in my life when she was here in New York, she was such a special person, made such an impact on me, I was always astounded by her grounded wisdom and caring spirit. I am happy to have met you, Patrick, for a day in LA when I drove through, and to know how much she was loved and that her dream of being a mom came true. I will follow your progress on this blog and wish you all the strength in the world, though it sounds like you have it already. Thank you,
megan c

8:00 AM  
Blogger J. said...

Pat, I was so excited to see an e-mail from you, after losing touch for so long.

But when I saw the title of the blog, "Back To One", my heart sank in my chest a bit.

I scanned the posts for some good news, but deep inside I knew what I was looking for.

The truth.

Patrick, Tif and I love you more than you can know, and I hurt for you and Adeline. She is just beautiful and with you as her rock, I'm sure she's an amazing little soul.

I'll check in on you often, and patiently wait for the day we can get back in touch. We miss you and like "r-fresh", wanna give you a big hug.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a remarkable thing to find! So sad and wonderful to know that she was so connected to you and so gratfeul for you.

Damn, you gave her a kind of love that she had never known prior.

I can't seem to find words to articulate how moved I am having read that...

Thanks for sharing,

Rebecca Bitton

6:07 PM  

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